10 rules for the middle aged

What is “middle age” nowadays? 40? 50? Approaching my mid 50’s and still feeling in my prime I would say that middle age now carries on well into your 60’s. How different it all is from our parents and grand parents generations. Our own expectations from life, health, fashion, fitness – they all add up to us feeling a good 10 years younger than we are. That said however there are some pitfalls to stay well clear of:

  1. Facial hair – look out for those sneaky sprouting hairs below the chin and remove them.
  2. Watch your fashion choices – above the knee fashion is best worn with 60 denier black tights, when on holiday, or only on very hot days once your legs have got a tan. Older knees rarely look great.
  3. Likewise avoid any suggestion of the girly look whether in style or fabric. Puffed sleeves, frilly skirts, gingham etc (unless going as a cow girl to a fancy dress party).
  4. Drink by all means, but beware of the drink + disco dancing combo. You may think you are really rocking it, but if you ever get a friend to video just a short burst of you dancing, you will realise what you look like. Unless everyone else is tiddly, in which case go for it!
  5. If you are standing on the train or tube do not engage in eye contact with a very young person who is sitting down, unless you want to be offered a seat for looking old. That is just depressing.
  6. Exercise. All those articles that say exercise keeps you fit, healthy, and improves body and skin tone are absolutely right. There is no escape.
  7. Keep up with technology. IT is moving ahead so fast. Face time? Tweetdecks? Don’t get left behind.
  8. If you are having a party, please don’t make it fancy dress party. No middle ages lady looks good in a party wig, and we would all prefer to have our hair done and wear something we feel good in.
  9. Any energetic sexual positions that might cause sagging bits to sag even more are best executed with the lights dimmed!
  10. Don’t get staid with your make up. Take yourself off for a free department store makeover at least once a year. You will be amazed at all the new products. We have already moved from BB creams to CC creams, and there is bound to be a DD cream soon.

And above all remember you are still in your prime!